We have been in Milwaukee for about three weeks at this point. It's hard to believe as time seems to fly by, while simultaneously drag on. On Fridays, our clinic is closed, but for a few patients who come in and see specialists. The quiet of the basement leaves a lot of time for reflection on the events of the week.
Fridays will most likely become my blogging day, so you'll get what you get as my mind wanders in my office.
Today, for many reasons, I have been thinking about home. My mom woke me up this morning with the sad news that one of our family dogs had died. I was expecting the call soon, but still wished more than anything that I could be home with my family this morning. As I hung up the phone, my roommate came in the room, made me breakfast, and comforted me in my home in Milwaukee. Soon after, I talked with my roommate in Seattle about moving out of our home there. After all of my roommates left this morning and I was feeling lonely, I followed my heart to the clinic where I work even though I wasn't expected yet. I wanted to engage with the community here that has already embraced me and made me feel at home.
The events and conversations of this morning have left me sad and tired, but also energized in love. On our orientation retreat a month ago, someone came and spoke to us about engaging in our neighborhoods and the world around us this year. He said something along the lines of "The reason I am sad I leave a place is because I know I have gotten there". I have thought a lot about that this morning as I exist between the many homes I have made. It is a balancing act that illustrates how full and blessed my life has been. I feel sad today because I have lived and loved in so many places. I have been lucky enough to fully engage and arrive in so many places.
Rather than focus on the difficulty of this kind of existence and balance, my goal today is to live in constant gratitude for it. I might not always find the perfect balance, but my heart is full of love for each of my homes and the people that make them up.
"If anybody asks you where your coming from
Say love, say for me love"- The Avett Brothers
Friday, August 23, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
The Beginning
Before I started this JVC journey, I told everyone, "yes of course I will blog". I thought it would be easy to recount the events of my days and the feelings that have come to accompany them and then share them with anyone who asked. As I was walking to work this morning and thinking about starting this, I realized how difficult this task has proven to be.
There are a few things that will happen if I go through with this idea. 1. I will have to stop being lazy and actually write and express the mess inside my head. 2. I will have to keep people entertained by my banter (which many can attest to is usually long-winded and disorganized. Lastly, I will have to name and then express the myriad of emotions that permeate my days as a JV in Milwaukee. Of course I feel joy and excitement in exploring a new city and seven beautiful roommates. But, I also feel terribly sad, lonely, overwhelmed, and sometimes even scared. I could make this blog a regular account of what I do and who I see. But, that wouldn't do this experience justice. I have learned more in my first week as a JV than I could fit in four blog posts. I have felt more in my first week as a JV than I can fit in a million blog posts. So as I sit down at the beginning of this adventure, I will do my best to sift through all the muck and produce something worth reading. An adequate answer to the constant question, "Hey Abbey, how's Milwaukee?"
Right now, my mind focuses itself on work (maybe because I'm sitting at my desk), but that seems like as good a place as any to begin. I serve as an RN in a free clinic in the basement of a church about two miles from our house. My patients are all uninsured, and we serve as their medical home. This means, we dispense medications, provide monthly check-ups, and referrals to specialists. Those are the details, but they really don't do the place justice. I am surrounded by providers and volunteers who value the dignity of life, and let their faith guide everything they do. My patients are full of stories and experiences that keep me laughing, but also constantly aware of the fragility of life, family, and health. I am so happy to have this job and be a member of this complex community.
I am constantly challenged in my ideas of health and what it means to care for another person. I had an experience with a patient yesterday that I was unsure of how to take care of and I asked my supervisor what our policy was surrounding the situation. He told me, "Abbey, here is our policy, but really in this place you are going to learn to heal with your heart rather than with your head." This is my constant challenge this year. This is how I will spend most of my days. It is a simple concept that in all reality will take me beyond this year to understand in the context of my chosen career path.
So friends and family, for all those who have asked. "how are you?" or "what are you up to". Here's the best answer I can come up with: I'm here in Milwaukee, learning to heal with my heart.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers on this journey. I hold you all with me everyday.
There are a few things that will happen if I go through with this idea. 1. I will have to stop being lazy and actually write and express the mess inside my head. 2. I will have to keep people entertained by my banter (which many can attest to is usually long-winded and disorganized. Lastly, I will have to name and then express the myriad of emotions that permeate my days as a JV in Milwaukee. Of course I feel joy and excitement in exploring a new city and seven beautiful roommates. But, I also feel terribly sad, lonely, overwhelmed, and sometimes even scared. I could make this blog a regular account of what I do and who I see. But, that wouldn't do this experience justice. I have learned more in my first week as a JV than I could fit in four blog posts. I have felt more in my first week as a JV than I can fit in a million blog posts. So as I sit down at the beginning of this adventure, I will do my best to sift through all the muck and produce something worth reading. An adequate answer to the constant question, "Hey Abbey, how's Milwaukee?"
Right now, my mind focuses itself on work (maybe because I'm sitting at my desk), but that seems like as good a place as any to begin. I serve as an RN in a free clinic in the basement of a church about two miles from our house. My patients are all uninsured, and we serve as their medical home. This means, we dispense medications, provide monthly check-ups, and referrals to specialists. Those are the details, but they really don't do the place justice. I am surrounded by providers and volunteers who value the dignity of life, and let their faith guide everything they do. My patients are full of stories and experiences that keep me laughing, but also constantly aware of the fragility of life, family, and health. I am so happy to have this job and be a member of this complex community.
I am constantly challenged in my ideas of health and what it means to care for another person. I had an experience with a patient yesterday that I was unsure of how to take care of and I asked my supervisor what our policy was surrounding the situation. He told me, "Abbey, here is our policy, but really in this place you are going to learn to heal with your heart rather than with your head." This is my constant challenge this year. This is how I will spend most of my days. It is a simple concept that in all reality will take me beyond this year to understand in the context of my chosen career path.
So friends and family, for all those who have asked. "how are you?" or "what are you up to". Here's the best answer I can come up with: I'm here in Milwaukee, learning to heal with my heart.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers on this journey. I hold you all with me everyday.
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